Successful Business Women – Go Speak Dating! Part 2

Nov 19, 2012 by

Fancy Meeting You Here!

Successful Business Women – GO SPEAK DATING!  Part 2


One of the top comments I receive from many of my colleagues most of whom are successful business women is “You are EVERYWHERE” – How did you do that?  How do you get all these speaking engagements? I finally realized after hearing the question for the 1000th time that it was time for me to pass the wisdom along and start to teach about the process of getting your message out that has worked best for me.

I have to say that the most effective way I have found to meet and connect with people who might be open to hosting you to speak to their community is by leveraging the power of the internet and social media.   One piece of advice that I want to make sure you really GET is that you can not just randomly show up on someone’s page and immediately start pitching them on why they should host you to their list.  Social media is meant to be social.   You need to put in some effort to get to know people.  Figure out what they have going on in their life – it’s pretty simple and obvious in most cases because just about everyone is pouring major pieces of their life and work story onto Facebook, Linked in or Twitter.

When you want to meet friends and make alliances you need to follow the rules of some very wise mentors, teachers and sages:

1)      Be more interested than interesting – now I admittedly have had an advantage for a long time because I have a very memorable, unique, different and interesting name.  I am deeply thankful to Spirit for blessing me with this name and I have definitely seen that there was a Divine reason that I was christened with my beautiful name back in 2004 long before I ever dreamed I’d be on the internet and way before Twitter, Facebook and Linked In even existed.   Even so when I first started out making social media connections I made it my business to know other people’s business and I commented on and communicated with a lot of people when I first got online and was genuinely interested in what they had going on in their lives.  To this day I still have dialog with many of my early connections many of whom supported and championed my exposure to the larger internet world.

2)      Make it your business to help other people get what they want – that means in the early days of building your speaking business you want to make sure that you are willing to give – a LOT – and authentically support and promote other people who are doing great things in the world.  Try to find people you can support whose work COMPLIMENTS yours but does not compete with it.  Initially you may also want to support colleagues who may be in direct competition as well but have an eye out for making sure you aren’t stepping on your own toes or overgiving to your detriment – yes it can be a slippery slope to determine how much to give so you need to be mindful to feed yourself first and then see how you can help others as generously as possible.  You aren’t very empowered if you are broke!

3)      Use social media to stay abreast of what’s happening – notice when there are a lot of events going on – notice when colleagues are presenting and where – notice who is hosting events where you might someday speak.  Pay attention and start to collect for yourself a database of potential future partners, hosts, colleagues and gigs.

4)      Go BEYOND Social Media – before there was Facebook there was GOOGLE and that search engine still works really well for discovering what’s happening.  For Virtual Speaking the hosts will have set up optin pages for tele-events – go ahead and google Teleseminars or summits that are in your area of expertise – you’d be AMAZED by what you can find with a little research.

5)      Make time and space in your calendar to attend live events – local networking, regional conferences, all day trainings or weekend workshops are great places to connect and when people ask “what are you looking for?” respond by saying you are looking to speak!

I have so much to share about building and maintaining strategic alliances and affiliations that I have included in my all new “Prosper In Your PJ’s – Virtual Speaking Business Builders Bootcamp™ – If you want to find out more about this I encourage you to connect with me at 603-594-2744 (Pick up that GOLDEN PHONE!) or to apply for an evaluation to see if and how I might support you in your quest to be heard by millions by filling out the magic form at

Next up  – the Big Ask!  But before I leave you today I’d like to ASK you to INTERACT!  That means making comments and asking questions yourself on this blog – successful business women including myself love to interact!  I look forward to connecting!  Be sure to connect on Facebook, Linked In and Twitter too here are the links for that:

Connect with me on Facebook: (subscribe – I can no longer accept friend requests here I’m past the limit of 5000 friends)



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  1. This was great Amethyst. Some very useful tips. thanks!

  2. Your 1st item is especially important – and something that’s really missing today. I once took a course from a business coach, Marshall Thurber. He asked us to think of the 5 most influential people in our life. Then he asked, “Did you put these people on your list because they were interesting, or because they were interested (in you)?” Great question! It turns out that people who are interested in us and our asperations are the ones we remember!

  3. J. Winslow

    Well done Amethyst! I’ve definitely seen you engage yourself in each of these points and you’ve done quite well with this strategy! Lovely of you to share, and best with your P.J.’s event! Certainly being interesting is important, but being interested is vital on many levels.

  4. Thanks for sharing the secrets to your success!

  5. Incredibly useful tips, Amethyst! I love hearing about how Spirit gave you your name. It’s true, I had heard about you LOOOONG before I met you, and your unique name was a major reason that my feeble memory retained it. That hint about searching for teleseminars is worth the price of admission. I’m definitely going to try that!

  6. I love the message in your unique name, Amethyst; a great tale!

    Love the tip about giving first when connecitng – it is the only way to make GENUINE connections, which is realy what life is about. Thanks for the reminder to use Google to help find speaking engagements – a great way forward!  Another way of looking for speaking engagements can be


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