Tuning in to what the Universe is sending you for messages isn’t always easy. It isn’t always fun either – like this last week – where I chose to forgo fun in the sun and opted instead to LISTEN and STOP RUNNING. I was set to leave for Costa Rica – packed and ready to go – my mom was down for cat sitting and my son was working out some of his life challenges. Everything seemed hunky dory. But the closer I got to departure day – the weirder and more out of alignment things started to get around me. I tuned in to myself and what I perceived was TERROR. I felt terrified that either my mom or my son would end up in the hospital and that my trip would not go off as planned. Some would say I created this. Others would say I had a pre-cognition. In any case – that’s exactly what happened.
The night before I was set to leave my son started exhibiting a full body infection response – from head to toe and everywhere in between and it became clear that a trip to the ER was in order. At 4 AM just a few short hours before my plane was scheduled for departure I was clear – this trip wasn’t happening. I made the choice to stay. I made the choice to slow down. I made the choice to LISTEN to what the Universe was sending me for messages. That night before going to the hospital my mom hauled off and hit me upside the head, just like she used to do when I was little. The COSMIC 2×4 landed in a big way in that moment. The fear and the drama of the moment was Out of Control. This my friends is ABUSE and ABUSE IS NOT LOVE. Just to be exquisitely clear. I managed to be so far out of my own alignment with LOVE that I was given a flashback moment to contemplate this truth once again.
It seems I’ve been in denial. Running hard and fast working on my business – a business based upon spiritual principals – but clearly I’ve not been connected. Align was my word for this year. So this past week I ALIGNED. Stayed present to what each day presented. Looked at the mirrors and discerned what they were showing me. On Wednesday my mom ended up going to the ER and got diagnosed with Sciatica. Then Thursday night my son ended up throwing up all over the place. Tonight it’s Friday I would have been preparing for departure early tomorrow morning to return home. Instead I’m looking at this past week and harvesting.
What I learned:
I can create a retreat for myself at home – every day I did my yoga, journalling and stayed in bed as late as possible – I made art – I wrote – I stayed OFF the technology almost entirely (pretending I was in the jungle with limited access).
I can be present when others are in pain without taking it on (YAY this is a BIG BREAKTHROUGH for me!) I can stay healthy and set healthy boundaries for myself balancing priorities and remembering that taking on the pain of others is not the same thing as being compassionate.
I can be HONEST with myself and with those around me – speaking my truth – and being ok with it not making other people happy – because it’s not my job to make them happy.
I can re-organize my priorities and be content with the simple act of making a hot pot of homemade chicken soup to serve and support a family member who’s feeling unwell.
I can be exquisitely clear WITH MYSELF about what my personal capacities are and while I know it’s good to stretch my edges I don’t have to and I won’t ever again push myself over the edge – because it’s not in service to anyone.
I can pay attention to my mirrors and ask for insight and enlightenment – what are they showing me about me right now?
I can forgive and be compassionate and let go of the drama and the trauma RIGHT AWAY – rather than holding on, stewing, building up, or otherwise storing that crap in my mind/body/spirit.
I can be grateful for everything – all the tools I have at my disposal, my willingness to TUNE IN, my support system that surrounds me in both the seen and unseen realms, and being open to accepting everything that happens as grist for the mill of my growth and development.
I can take one day at a time and let go of all the plans – remembering that there is often a Higher & Better plan for my life – even if in the moment that doesn’t seem to be the case. (Hm Week in Costa Rica soaking up the Hot Sweet Sunshine vs Week in and out of Hospitals in New England with family members?) I can release having to have it MY WAY and trust that there is gold right in whatever experience I am in in this moment.
I can exercise my NO muscle and refuse to engage when it’s not safe or healthy for me to do so – I can LEAN BACK from violence, acts of rage and verbal, mental and/or physical abuse and LEAN IN to my own strength, power and capacity to hold my ground or retreat to keep myself safe and healthy.
I can be committed but not attached and be at peace – anywhere, anytime, no matter what’s happening around me – as long as I choose it.
How do you handle it when You Plan and God or Goddess Laughs? Sometimes we make big plans in or for our business to go in a certain direction – we get on a roll and start to build momentum and all of a sudden the Universe is sending out the STOP sign but we have stopped listening. Then we get confused, discombobulated, unclear or otherwise spun in the wrong directions and start to question everything – including our connection with our own knowing. When that happens its very helpful to have the clear eye and heart of a non-biased outside expert seer who can help us to untangle the web of deception and illusion we’ve woven around ourselves. I’ve personally found mentorship and working with outside support from seers, healers, mentors, coaches and other professionals to be an absolute Godsend to me. If you are ready for the kind of support that will help you to overcome any overwhelm you have landed yourself in – to help you leave the confusion and move back into full clarity then you are in the right place. It would be my pleasure to consider your application for a conversation with me – let’s talk and see if it’s a fit for us to work together! Apply here: http://www.theempoweredmessenger.com/see Our team will let you know right away if you’ve been selected for a complimentary exploration conversation with me. We look forward to serving and support you to TUNE IN and thrive!